爱in a world of jealousy

2009-09-24T07:31:00.000-07:00

20092009
dhe day my baby KELVIN CHENG JUI LOONG is mine !
i love you deep and much !
MWARKS x3

FG blog is up andd posted ! http://itsallabout-fg.onsugar.com
yeahh , FG ! go see , any amendments let me know ;D

2009-08-28T21:00:00.000-07:00

thAnks everyone. i see so much shit in you all. all the blinded fake smiles.
heart hurts the whole day ytd . did have much to pour it out. no one to pour exactly.
yes i have no more frens. no, is close frens. no more close frens. fake frens are everywhere i see.
i just hate the real me in me. i guess, i am shutting down soon.

2009-08-13T22:39:00.000-07:00

i am back blogging le ppl.
its really been damn long since i last blogging .
i got damn lot of things to clarify here .
i miss a lot of people .
down with high fever of 39.5 to 40 for 5 days .
hospitalize for 10days at home with 5-8 medicine.
SUFFER!! some are kind send sweet messages to me asking me to recover well.
pei rong still msg me say no one help her eat orange . cute nah.
james korkor buy me a pigpig to make smile sweet sweet . haha .
jacky didi say i recover le ask me go play maximum tune with him. LOL
but somehow there are people with stinks mouth .
thinking i just say to gain sympathy or making things small to big .

just wondering last time i have losing alot of frens.
anyone whom i am disappointed with , this person will keep telling me : ppl do change, treat it as you dont have this fren .
well, easy to be said than to be done.
especially gail, my precious girl. though how bad she change i will still stnd by her.
telling myself thats what she change me into . bad to good . so here am i to do the same.
if i were to heed that fren advice probably i would be like HIM.
NO MUTUAL FRENS at all.
i am just happy to have my clicks that support me that well.
LOVE PEIRONG , GIIM , JAMES KORKOR , ANDY BOYBOY and MICHELLE MUMMY ;D

2009-04-28T20:42:00.000-07:00

HELLO PEEPOS !!!!!!!!!
i am back with my blogging already .
yeah !
toooo many things happen uh .
feel pain in the heart . early morning all of the thing come make me bad mood.
i am so so dishearten sia.
i just want to be myself in times , isnt that easy ?
but alot people make my life difficult .
i just people to talk and make me laugh everytime .
so i can be happy go lucky .
but everyone making my life diifficult .
WHY ??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am so suffocated .
i am... everyone is on purpose arent they ?
I AM SO DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU . BENNY !!!! and one more i dont feel like naming at all.
fine ! even my hubby dar.
misunderstand my msg ! why ?
just a small msg he can get so ..
aww man, bad day ! i nearly late . and no one understand me .
I HATE PROMISE BREAKERS !!! i hate MYSELF OKAY ?!
SHARRON KOH SUCKS !!!

MISUNDERSTANDING AGAIN

2009-03-31T23:19:00.000-07:00

the previous post is abt a guy for everybody information !

why does everybody need to misunderstand again and again.
well, arent i suppose to clear misunderstanding with you?
why do you have to say so sarcastic remarks to me?
after our 6 months tgt.
is that nothing in ur eyes.?
all the fun, the up and down.
seriously, since when you lose ur trust to me.?
since when we have to scold each other till so badly?
SINCE WHEN ?
you use to say and ask me not to believe in bazi.
you told me you want to make a miracle thing out of this.
but... things change before you started...
the photos we use to take ? the laughter we use to have?
thats not an illusion to me at all.
if you need a time to settle everything with me.
i give you choose a date, day and time.
just the both of us. we 2 can talk it out to each other.
our pro and cons. is it okay ?
please dont misunderstand each other further....

TO MY ONCE CLOSE SISTER
if you still regards me, i can take the once away..

I AM LEFT IN A DARK FCUKING WORLD

2009-03-31T01:57:00.000-07:00

HEY ,
i really peifu ppl who wants to act in front of me to be nice and backstabbing behind my back.
i take my hats off you man.
come on, you think is cool being barbaric, acting one behind another.
you are one big fool alright !
snob face. is not i am the only one who's saying you.
there is a lot ppl feel that you change !
and you really did.
WANG EN FU YI.
forget those who is a benefactor to you only causes uncrude karma to urself.
i can only say this.
STOP ACTING IMMATURE =.=

(you-know-who)

i dont know what the hack is going on la.
you are behaving strangely this few days.
seriously, as if we are really going to break..
is my fault again?
or have i not done better enough?
what i can say is i love you.

MIDNIGHT PAIN

2009-03-28T19:00:00.000-07:00

29MARCH. 2.38AM

-NOTIHING !
absoulutely sure nothing gonna make myself feel better.
DAMN the 2 BITCHES. DOG FACE !
Especially the 1st one.
if it wasnt she who made you lose ur 1st time, you wouldnt be so curve thinking all the time.
if it wasnt her, you wounldnt have start acting this way.
and things wont be a mess...
you will never be so H**** !
she ! SHE made it this way .
SHE MADE IT UR DAILY LIFE LAST TIME.
things wont turn out this way.
AWW !!! i dont know who to talk to.who to share this heart breaking news.
who would still be awake, at this middle night.
i can only act stupid blogging in my phone than to the comp.
I NEED A SHOULDER BADLY.
DAMN BADLY. right now..
this very very moment.
i need and penknife or a sharp glass.
thats the only way i can ease my heart pain feeling...
ONCE AGAIN... MY PAST CHARACTER REBORNS...

4.30AM

-cry till now and my eyes and damn big and swollen.
i felt numbness over my body. cold and stingy feeling.
eyes swollen like fishball. let me fall sick alright !
let me just lie in bed and stare in the ceiling space.
now, lets be practical, maybe a stupid idea.
if only i could be more fertile.
at least i have someone to talk to.
in future ....
lust, lies and love ?
the 3 Ls~ runs in my mind now and than.
the sentence you mention. open my wound once more.
this times you digs deeper into my wound
YES ! i made them leave.
YES ! i am a attitude @sshole.
YES ! i dont know my limits.
and YES ! I LOVE YOU IN THE WRONG WAY.
But, at the same time,
YES ! i am being treated unfairly.
YES ! i feel hurt now.
YES ! i am no longer getting privileges like what they had.
YES ! i cried terribly bad.
YES ! history returns.
good guy and bad girl .
HURT. just hurt.

9.28AM

i have to suffer alone.
wake up 5 times.
can you believe ?
nightmare 5 times.
i dreamt that you slap me, kick me.
and even threaten to kill the unborn kid.
WORSE nightmare. i saw you.. doing uncensor stuff in front of me.
with the 2 bitch.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm going crazy. i want to kill myself.
seriously, i need a hug. a shoulder !
RIGHT NOW !! who can it be ?
*sigh* i assume no one....

three days tour =.=

2009-03-28T18:21:00.000-07:00

27.MARCH

- Went to DAR house to collect barangbarang.
than about to leave, his bro sick till very badly.
i took a cloth put on his forhead, made a cup of condensed milk and feed him eat medicine.
than cycle to SK, meet girlfey and lihui.
after that wait for SK-ians and gather, than proceed to ECP.
cycle there, we took turns to fetch lihui, faster reach there le.
jiu heard something from lihui, felt angry but don't care.
bring laptop out and watch show with lihui cuz girlfey go find her mom.
after that jiu go peng-gang things to eat.
weixin got buy 4 things. satay, sotong, stingray and hotdog.
than play beach volleyball with kenny, jun, DA sebas and my 2 girls.
suddenly jiu quarrel with DAR, than gf pull me go play water happy but i end up...
than went up and back to BBQ pit sing bdae song for heng, xin and jess.
after that, we go back play water. we keep throwing ppl into the water.

A few more mins to 28.MARCH
-we intend to throw steffi than we went aside to plan.
dont know why change to eric but went back to steffi again.
dai-sou and gf help me carry steffi and throw in water.
than DAR sudden want throw me , but end up gf drag me down to water.
than dai-sou jiu push gf into the water also.
one stone kill two bird. WIN LIAO. LOL
after that we went to the toilet for washing up.
And guess what, we bathe in the public.
PUBLIC!? can you imagine the open air?no cover de lor.
than we go changing room change after our bath.
go back and BBQ food again. *hungry*
than gf go home
Jiu left me, DAR, steffi, jun, guorong, ben, kenny, eric, jess, sensen, da.sebas, dai-sou, weile, weian and kelvin.
we slack there till 5plus 6 than cycle to bedok inter mac.
after reaching, me and DAR go home..
slept at DAR house till noon than ask papa fetch me.
than on the way home, papa talk to me alot of things.
hear le, start to cry to sleep when i reach home.
HOME-D~

worse heard feeling .

2009-03-26T10:29:00.001-07:00

blowing cake !!

small sebas blocking bdae girl and boy .

SKians photo taking 1

SKians photo taking 2

skians photo taking 3

today at SK celebrate JESS AND WEIXIN birthday .

LOL . fun and funny . well , big sebas was like making a fool of himself , lame but funny .

yeahyeah was fun . than go home jiu tio kan . thats when my miserable story came .

father nag , scared any time he will get retrench , my mom also .

than talk abt dar and me . say we got plan until marriage .

what if ..... did we plan our future ?

i myself has no confidence . heart ache now . damn aching . even it pass 2 hrs . it is still acting .

hais . i am really heart breaking now .

2009-03-26T03:10:00.000-07:00

I HATE YOU ! YOU DIRTY WOMAN !!

WHAT CHILLI . =.=

CHILDISH !?!

i hate ppl COMPARING me .
Dont you dare to compare me when you urself is no where better .
FCUK you okay .
you force my profanities out , you force my unglamour !
i damn hate you to core okay .
THE 2ND woman made me put you in the infamous list of mine .
so what i dont my guy talk to you ?
so ?! i let him talk to most girls , but you are EXCEPTION .!
TOO BAD , SLUT .

ANYWAY ,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JESSLYN CHIA !!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WEIXIN !!

Romance or Romantic >?

2009-03-25T07:45:00.000-07:00

tell me what is romance ?
tell me what is romantic too .?
how should i tell myself to define it out .
to me , something unique is romantic , not just solely action .
to me , romance is special and never done before to others .
to me , romance is just plainly worthless but outstanding feelings and magic .
just this few sentence , do you know what i meant ?
do you get what i am saying .?
if you do , you know what is romantic .
going out together , laughing with each other are just plainly normal unspecial things .
but things like doing something call chemistry .
you know what i mean and feel .
thats what we call telepathy ...
is a life , not toy . boy
please understand that i dont wish this to happen too .
i just want you to know i cherish it . with life promises .
i want it to be lasting without worries and carefree without HER presence .
you know it well . i want your heart and soul .
lets walk the road .
i wish everything is fine .
tell me in my eyes , tell as you held my hands : " nothing gonna go wrong , i love you with my whole heart . just you and me , we walk the road . walk thru obstacles and bad times ."
just this and i will entrust my whole heart . wholeheartedly into you .
just this 2 sentences ....

2009-03-11T05:53:00.000-07:00

guess the bazi is out again .
damn the fcuking bazi .
ruin my life . again again again .
why the hell ?! two diff thing .
one frm guan yin temple . one frm bazi .
TWO diff story . you are a human , you look positive sides .
but i am not just human , but woman cum human .
all woman think negative . ALLLLLL .
HAPPY ONE MONTH PLUS TO MY DEAREST SHAN-DARDAR !
HAPPY THREE MONTH PLUS TO KITTY-GIRLGIRL !
HAPPY EXACT THREE MONRHS TO JAC-SUNZI !

miserable and lucky momento

2009-02-18T01:51:00.000-08:00

is a happy and sad feeling.
nightmare and dreamy feeeling.
how can i possible bring myself out?
having sweet and bitter moments.
why is it so suffocated. okay than.
end my sad story. dont want go into too much.

i wish to last this relationship with MR lee jian hao AKA sikeweishan
i wanna last. after the nightmare last night.
I... i really want to last. cause, his no one bad.
only wish everything good for me.
run after me when i ran off.
kiss me good night. kiss me good bye.
all listed that WHAT a girls want..
LAST.. long till forever...
i am very afraid my mom de bazi count out a diff thing...
i am very worried and scared...

life

2009-02-02T06:26:00.000-08:00

in my life i have finally understand what is expel.
16years and counting, now i understand.
something miserable, parents condemning against you.
is not surprise that parent will condemn you right?
but unexpectedly, pulling and dragging to your past.
will you be suffocated if you were me?
it isn't that easy for you to understand the pain cause it is not obvious.
is indirectly shooting you. will you be tired of all the nagging.?
when you tried to help but end up, you were the villain.
a child do childish matters, people can understand..
but if you were the parent will you still act childish.?
that is really really ridiculous, to be childish rights?
a father say, if i work, i support myself.
if i study, he support me.
but end up, i got to support myself. my uniforms. my prepaid.
what is this.? what in the world is this. am i asking to much.?
cried really everyday. when can i stop crying?
i really want to rest. really damn tired. dont feel like living anymore.
i dont feel good at all. i feel tired. anytime i could really close my eyes and feel nothing.
lols. really wierd about all this happening. too sudden till i cant feel anything real.
should i give in some scolding for me? myself and i ?
or should i just cry all the way.?
isnt it useless for me to do that.. mostly it will be useless and pointless...

2008-12-11T08:05:00.000-08:00

isnt it pathetic of me.
haven a stupid of helping zhi ming when he ignore my advice.
i am such pathetic ass...
why i just help him out..
why cant i be more clever.

babyboy is ignoring me.
i felt damn hurt.
obstacles in him and hurt to me. i am suffering alone.
other ppl cry. got shoulder to lean on. but me?
cry alone. suffer alone. cut myself and bleed alone.
am i idiotic or i can more. why am i being so troubled.
i am just an idiot for ppl to kick around, am i?
i just love you but i dun see the effort you made in our patch up.
i love you and yes i do.
i am crying for ur sake. my blood drips for you. and yes i love you.
i am really in love with you.....

2008-12-10T09:43:00.001-08:00

KINGS CAFE

2008-11-09T10:47:00.000-08:00

please do visit this link cause this is my godma shop.
PLEASE do support.!!!!!
http://www.kingsc-afe.blogspot.com

yays~

the unexpected outcome

2008-11-09T10:11:00.000-08:00

what am i to you?
a stupid girl or a girl you wish to love or even a girl you wish to cheat on?
how pathetic am i? or no, should i ever say, how dumb my brain were to be?
how i wish i would ever vanish or even you never appear to me at all.
why bother making me like you when you know that you never be serious?
why bother huh?
STUPID is the only word i could describe myself.
a relationship that never... never look like one at all.
happy, naiive little brain joy over a pathetic, dumbness or even senseless reality.
a girl lives in a world with dark clouds and never to be bright?
why should i like you or crush on you.
i could have continue to love him. the one and only him...
for what sake should i force myself to be dirty?
because i dun love myself or what shit you ever think?
am i that brainless?
do i really look like that in your thoughts?
or you want to be like that. i dun want to be force into a two timing relationship.
i could have ask my ex for patch.
i could do more drastic changes if you want me to. but i dun want!!
a fact that i like you. a fact that i love him.
if you want to replace him. you are far more than far. wider than a ocean i could say now.
but what more can i do now?
what should i do. you are making myself jump into a pool of tears, emotic and attitude changes . when i am making a change in myself.

stupid! why should i do such stupid thing.
what am i suppose to be in now?
in the rubbish dump or garage sale.
HELLLLLOOOOOO!!!!!!! f** up sial. with all the shits i have.
when can i ever be awake in the brandnew days.
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH...
i seriously need a shoulder...
baby jess ar, i know you know what am i talking about.
please make a surprise out of surprise, happening out of happening for me ...

YANG!! can you at least reply me to make me feel more secure. we are friends are we?
i need you be by my side now i want you be my side now. to cheer me up like you once did.
to make me giggle and chuckle like i once had.
but the fact is, this will never change at all.
cause i lost you. 6 months ago i lost you.
i lost the whole you, with whole thing. whole memories.
everywhere was our laughter...

2008-11-05T07:19:00.000-08:00

sorry .. i was making my blog rotting ..

I tio FIRED sial.

hais, baby suay things keep happening on her. wtf sial.

see her everyday cry. i damn xin tong la.

a idiot useless fren.

am i useless fren? who only knows how to cry & nothing else.

blogging back soon.

happy fifth month with girlfey!!!

today went out with her.

but no money buy her gift sial. like wtf la.

hmm, tmr pei zm go give out flyer sial.

paya lebar and sengkang siol.

hope can see fren... WEE~~~

i still miss you

SWY.

the life i never expect to be...

2008-09-23T07:01:00.000-07:00

lalas, today was such a bored day. lols. early morning watch bump-off lover 17.

the ending ! omg, i want ke qiang and yi zhen hugg la. lols.

nvm. than msg honey. meet honey.

she damn sweet la. give me a piyo duck for present.

hahas. i love ur duck. thanks honey.

wy baby. dun so emo le la. miss you lots lots. my naive cute lil monster. hahas.

ily!

honey give me as B.DAY present.><

生日快乐！

2008-09-22T01:33:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 16thBIRTHDAY WEELEE!
i bet she wish to have more tattoos!! hahas. good luck in receiving ur present.
HAPPY 15thBIRTHDAY JASMIN!
cant wish you face to face. sorry.

被爱？悲哀？

2008-09-22T01:23:00.000-07:00

why the hell? it is so damn suffocating !?
hate to knnow the facts but hate to be lied to.
why? idk. hmm... honey oh honey. i love you. dun you be sad ok.
谢雪婷，you are going to be sworn sister this coming sunday. you ARE!
so dun think i will ever drift from you.
i want all 3 couples to last long.
- 1. daniel&joey = 10months ++ & counting. . .
- 2.edmund&weijun = 1 year, 5 months ++ & counting. . .
- 3. yaw huei &jess = 5 days & counting. . .

three lil couples how sweet and cute. hahas.
wish to find my happiness now but N's is around the corner.
hmm, yzd. cute and hyper. naive lil guy.
hahas. wish you be more "kai qiao".
lalalas~ so hyper. but thinking of my mum. felt so bad.
she... is suffering. . . . . .

11days more. .

真假不分xoxo

2008-09-21T03:52:00.000-07:00

这个友谊是在太假心假意了。
我无法想象如果有一天真的。。。真的再次复合，是真的。
头痛了。我好讨厌这堆假面具。
我只能默默的恨，不能下手。
你高兴我不在了。我更兴奋你不在。。。
好于不觉得，轻松多了。

i love the freedom now. a unbelievable freedom.
is so much better. with the few friends who cared for me.
so much better... i love you boy. that girl who make you so miserable?
dun care. i will be ur angel. fake friends are everywhere.
anyway, love my sworn sister. 谢雪婷！

countdown : 13 days more le.

combine 3 days blog

2008-09-21T00:23:00.000-07:00

is a terror.
terror i am facing. or maybe is a nightmare crushing on me.
why? why do i feel so afraid of goin into relationship?
imy boy. mr sim i still do miss you. but i crush on a guy wy.
he is younger but WY made me think of you. sim wei yang.

hellos! sorry for rotting my blog for two 2 days.
i dunno my comp internet ok le. lols
hmm, on 18 sep.
HONEY and DIDI stead le!!
i am the match-maker. THANKS to me.
the process was damn funny siol. hahas.
hmm, light sticks la. teddy bear. muahahas.
so cute. the two jesshuei is a cute lil couple.
19sep, went to sing karaoke with manda girl family and zm.
sing k starting scary. my voice cant come out than after that.
lalalala~ hahas. hmm than the zm say wad laji gong(sixth uncle)
is lak chek gong la. goons!!! hahas. hmm, than go eat with didi and honey sial.
with mama and papa some more. hahas.

hmm, ytd with go kallang leisure park with honey and didi and mama and papa.
wees~ quite funny leis. go there for awhile. they sweet till i so jealous no one pei me.
sobs. i want BF!!! so despo O.o lols. hahas. hmm...
now blogging got that daniel kor keep looking and talking so much.
anyhow say story. wierdo sial. lols.
i miss you sial!! i miss my boy so much. honay and didi must last long wor.
going east coast park skating !! yeahs!!

燕燕，回来了！

2008-09-18T00:33:00.000-07:00

a day passes, life full of up and down.
a roller coaster life? yeahs, i think so.
with honey and di by my side supporting me and most of all my parents.
the life in school? hmm, the same old way.
to know the black and the white. but now i learn the grey.
well, that was my opinion of life today.
我还是无法忘记那个姓沈。在我脑里一直都是。。。你。。
沈大哥，你即使才能面对世界呢？

我回来了！Back to blogging le wor.
Hmm, one thing to肯定is that back to blogging my opinions.
Now, at jess house. she help me with this blog. THANKS HONEY!!
Sam hubby buy me ink bag! uhuh!! love him la ! thanks hubby.
yh didi buy me keychain and hp strap !! love him TTM ! hmm!!!!
哈哈！这个难走路以来都是婷婷和辉辉陪我走的。my parents also!
love those who side me. lazy to name all but you guys are known to me 就好 le.
lols! miss the olden days of cycling. my bikes are not with me. MISSES to my bikers!
now in jess house like crazy sial. tok abt the comb hair thing.
say me comb hair like 怨鬼。than she say i comb th 2nd time like siao cha bor !
lols! blog another time ba. having crazy time ! hahas !

count down to my birthday: 16 days more! xD