29MARCH. 2.38AM


-NOTIHING !
absoulutely sure nothing gonna make myself feel better.
DAMN the 2 BITCHES. DOG FACE !
Especially the 1st one.
if it wasnt she who made you lose ur 1st time, you wouldnt be so curve thinking all the time.
if it wasnt her, you wounldnt have start acting this way.
and things wont be a mess...
you will never be so H**** !
she ! SHE made it this way .
SHE MADE IT UR DAILY LIFE LAST TIME.
things wont turn out this way.
AWW !!! i dont know who to talk to.who to share this heart breaking news.
who would still be awake, at this middle night.
i can only act stupid blogging in my phone than to the comp.
I NEED A SHOULDER BADLY.
DAMN BADLY. right now..
this very very moment.
i need and penknife or a sharp glass.
thats the only way i can ease my heart pain feeling...
ONCE AGAIN... MY PAST CHARACTER REBORNS...


4.30AM

-cry till now and my eyes and damn big and swollen.
i felt numbness over my body. cold and stingy feeling.
eyes swollen like fishball. let me fall sick alright !
let me just lie in bed and stare in the ceiling space.
now, lets be practical, maybe a stupid idea.
if only i could be more fertile.
at least i have someone to talk to.
in future ....
lust, lies and love ?
the 3 Ls~ runs in my mind now and than.
the sentence you mention. open my wound once more.
this times you digs deeper into my wound
YES ! i made them leave.
YES ! i am a attitude @sshole.
YES ! i dont know my limits.
and YES ! I LOVE YOU IN THE WRONG WAY.
But, at the same time,
YES ! i am being treated unfairly.
YES ! i feel hurt now.
YES ! i am no longer getting privileges like what they had.
YES ! i cried terribly bad.
YES ! history returns.
good guy and bad girl .
HURT. just hurt.


9.28AM

i have to suffer alone.
wake up 5 times.
can you believe ?
nightmare 5 times.
i dreamt that you slap me, kick me.
and even threaten to kill the unborn kid.
WORSE nightmare. i saw you.. doing uncensor stuff in front of me.
with the 2 bitch.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm going crazy. i want to kill myself.
seriously, i need a hug. a shoulder !
RIGHT NOW !! who can it be ?
*sigh* i assume no one....